Be A Better Communicator!

          

Being a communicator in education is SO critical. Too often we are good at one or two forms of communication, but not all the various ways of communicating. As an example, some people are great writers, speakers, and articulate at disseminating info. Yet, they aren't good listeners, have poor non-verbal communication skills, and aren't concise.  For me, I've recently ran into in my workplace, the complete lack of communication from a few critical people. The result is disastrous. Whether in the business world or education, communication is vital to the success of the organization. Meaningful relationships--a key to any organization, require communication. 

Five tips and thoughts to consider surrounding communication:

1) Communication is equally about listening as it is talking. Sometimes people just want someone to list to them. What does your air time look like when in a conversation?  Are you talking more than listening?

2) Communication is about what is not said just as much as it is about what you do say. Being honest, transparent, and keeping it real is critical. Leaving out things isn't a "lie", but it's not honest.  Although this can be tricky, so important to speak your truth. Even more, it's important to communicate non-verbally via hugs, high-fives, eye contact, and listening intently to someone. Sometimes someone just needs a hug more than they need you to say something. Ask them how their day is going, what is new in their life, and is there anything you can do to help them have a better day.

3) Being responsive is critical. Daily I hear about someone who never responded to an email, never returned a phone call, or never front-loaded communication; rather, they just blind-sided people. You MUST return those texts, direct messages, emails, phone calls, etc. Communication is the one thing that builds your credibility, trust, and belief in people. Using various ways to communicate is equally critical. You have to meet people where they are and where they are comfortable communicating. 

4) Reflecting daily on your communication is critical. Every day I try and reflect on my many conversations and think about what I could have done better, what I hope to change for the next day, and is there anyone I need to circle back to. I KNOW one of my areas of growth is talking too much. I TRY and work on this and some days I'm more successful than others. Other times, I'm a joker and love laughing, but may unintentionally offend someone; it's critical to circle back to people if you are unsure if communication didn't go well. I also reflect on being a distracted listener. Too often I catch myself looking at my phone when someone is communicating. It's rude, and I'm not giving them my full attention.  In the end, we all need to reflect on how we can be better at communicating. You get better at things you work on and reflect on!

5) Model it! In the end, as educators, and even adults in any field, we MUST model communication. That means, the way we talk to each other and kids must be appropriate, loving, caring, and positive. Yelling at someone, letting your anger come out, and making it personal all leave an impression. Sometimes, it's better to say nothing at all, and often best to pause before firing back. People watch and listen to your words. Your non-verbal actions say just as much.

In the end, communication is one of the most critical aspects of a relationship and an organization. We ALL have to work on it, reflect on it, and model it. Take the challenge today to up your game at communication. Be intentional about it, listen more, reflect more, and improve! Go give a hug, high five, and ask someone how their day is going!

Let's Get This Party Started!

School in my kids district, and the district I work in starts tomorrow.  For some of you, it's already started.  No matter when school starts for you this year, one question remains: are you looking at it as the time to get the party started? It's time we create an environment at school that is like a party!  We want everyone to attend, we want them to bring their positive attitude, we want them to participate, and we want to offer fun for all. 

What do you do in your classroom and school to celebrate, make kids WANT to come every day, and make it fun? We have to be intentional about making school feel like a place where it's ok to have fun while still learning.  We have to ensure we send the party invites, provide the party updates and reminders, and be sure we include everyone, as the more, the merrier.  There are 5 tips I believe we need to creating a great environment for our students, staff, and parents that will make them want to come to school each day:

1) Invite everyone to the party: communication is critical.  Using social media and as many means as possible to reach the most is crucial: Use email, text messages (like Remind), Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and do it far enough in advance.  Too often we aren't communicating well enough what is going on soon enough. 

2) Create a party atmosphere: school does NOT have to be boring, mundane, and serious business.  Have dance party breaks, starting class with a funny video, playing games like Kahoot, and finding any way to celebrate success are essential for a fun learning environment. Mixing up the routine, listening to and including student ideas for what to do, and taking risks to try something crazy and new all set the tone for the classroom or school you lead.  Laugh, dance, and turn up the music!

3) Keep it going: most of us come into a party pumped up and ready to have a good time.  The key ingredient to a good party is it keeps going, and no one wants to leave.  We have to find ways to keep the good vibes going all year, not just the first week, month, quarter, and semester.  Having students involved in sharing ideas, creating celebrations, and trying new things keeps the mojo going.  A stagnate party has people start leaving early and getting bored.  Be about ensuring you keep the party going all year.

4) A good host checks in: a good party host checks in throughout the party to ensure everyone is doing well and having fun.  In our classrooms and schools, are you present?  Are the host who is constantly checking around, and checking in with your guests (your students, parents, etc)?  We have to listen to our stakeholders, intentionally check in on how they are doing, and adjust course if things aren't going as well as they should. When you build the relationships, you can tell when things aren't going well. If you truly know your guests, you can read how it's going and adjust accordingly.  Build those relationships from day one, so you can have success with feedback and adjustment.  Asking, "what else can I get you, what do you need to have a great time" and monitoring all your guests is imperative.

5) Ensure people want to come back: anytime you attend a good party, the next time the same host is throwing a party, you want to come.  We need to create our schools and classrooms to be the same way--we want our guests to want to come back.  We want them to want to bang down the doors and be excited to come back again and again. When you make learning fun, when you have surprises and they don't know what to expect, and when you innovate, take risks, and try new things, your guests want to come back for more.  

This year, what will you do to create an environment where students can't wait to enter your school and classroom?  What will you do to make it feel like a good party that everyone hears about it and wants to attend?  Make learning fun, create that unforgettable experience, and remember to smile, laugh, and turn on the music!

Bring the Fire!

As a new school year is about to begin, it's imperative we bring fire and passion to school!  Whether a classroom teacher, administrator, or other staff member, we have a morale obligation to bring the fire and passion to our schools! Dave Burgess (@burgessdave on Twitter) and the entire #tlap and #LeadLAP tribe focus on making classrooms and schools engaging for students.  Being innovative educators and relevant for our students isn't just for some educators, it needs to be for ALL staff.  Kids need to have a strong desire to come to your classroom and school every day, and that doesn't just magically happen.  It takes intentionality and inner passion and fire from educators to create the environment that draws students in.  It takes a commitment to be innovative and find numerous ways to engage today's students.

There are numerous ways to bring the fire and engagement and hook students from day one; doing BreakoutEDU, having students do short iMovies, scavenger hunts, Flipgrid, impromptu class dance parties for breaks, and utilizing technology to code, 3-D print, and allow students to create versus just consume.  Get on Twitter and ask around, and you can find hundreds of effective ideas! We need the adults to have a fire in their bellies to bring their A+ game each and every day.

Having a fire in your soul for kids and wanting to build relationships and show you genuinely care is critical.  Looking students in the eyes, giving high fives, knowing their names, and celebrating their successes are all part of building that class or school that is on fire for kids!

This year the challenge is simple: BRING THE FIRE to your classroom and school site!  What will you do to engage students on a daily basis?  What will you do to build relationships with students?  What will you do to be innovative for your students?  As an educator, bring your fire and passion, and watch it spread!

3 Lessons My Kids Have Taught Me

I often reflect on the joys my 3 kids bring to my life. We take for granted all that kids can do for our souls, and I have found three lessons from my kids I need to embrace and live by:

1) Laugh often, and laugh hard: Listening to a child's laugh is contagious. Making them laugh so I can hear the true belly laugh is a daily event in our house. As adults, we need to find more times to laugh.   We need to create spaces for laughter breaks at work, and laugh as much as possible.

2) Move on from a bad experience or mood quickly: My youngest can put on a lower lip like none other. She can instantly start smiling and laughing 30 seconds later. My middle kid can be crying and upset because he messed up and got in trouble, but 5 minutes later, he's forgotten and moved on. My oldest is entering Jr. high this fall. She can be upset and go in her room, and a few minute later will come to find me and snuggle and be ready to move on. Too often as adults, we harbor hard feelings, hang on to negative thoughts, and can't "let go" of situations. We need to take the kid approach of "moving on" as life is too short!

3) Embrace trying something new: All three of my kids are adventurous and typically up for something new. They love exploring, riding rides, eating different kinds of food, and traveling. Watching them pick something up, play with it, ask about it, and test it is fun to watch. As adults, we need to have the curiosity and williness to try new things, explore, and learn something new. We need to have the kid approach of learning on a daily basis.

Although the three things above are simple, we as adults need the reminders to laugh, move on after a bad thought or experience, and to try new things! There is so much we can learn from kids. What will be your take-aways from your kids and/or the kids you teach?

Tune out the Negative People

Negative people and incidents ebb and flow in our lives over the course of time.  In the education world, negativity can kill a school culture, a teacher, and worst, a student.  Often a few vocal negative people can have way more power than they should.  The challenge we struggle with as humans is how to tune out the negative and not allow it to get us down.  We talk about grit and resilience, but not always the "how" to get rid of the negativity.

In the last few months I've struggled with a couple negative people getting me down, and struggled with them affecting me.  The constant road blocks thrown up, saying "no" to people just because, and simply not being committed to what is best for us all had worn me down.

As someone who is almost always positive and eager to take on any challenge, I felt defeated.  I was letting a couple jokesters get to me, and it was affecting who I was as a person.  The positive was I cared so for my work and the mission we are on, and wanted so bad to "fix" this situation.  The downside was, I didn't have the power in this situation to do anything to improve it.  I couldn't change the mentality and perspective of folks.  Some people just live in their little silo that isn't aligned with the rest of the team.

I hit the wall, and was ready to quit.  I even started looking around with the thoughts of a different job.  Finally, it hit me; I had two choices: 1) be a quitter and let them win, 2) find a way to ignore them and simply move on with what I know is my commitment to doing what I can to support constant improvement and moving the organization forward.

There were three steps I took to get over the hump.  Although they may not work for everyone, my encouragement is to reflect on what methods will work for you.  In the end, we HAVE to tune out the negative people.

1) I simply started ignoring and keeping my distance from them.  It's a choice to engage with negative people, it's a choice to let them get to us, and it's a choice whether we allow them to ruin it for the rest of us.  Although sometimes hard because you have to work with people, you don't have to go out of your way to hang out with them.  In time, I'm a believer humans figure out when their peers are clearly not fans of their attitude and behavior.

2) I made a conscious choice to hang out with those who keep me positive.  Utilizing my PLN and choosing to hang out with positive individuals who drown out the negative does amazing things for our mental well being.

3) I refocused my energies and work.  As an admin, we have many projects and tasks to complete.  I made a choice to prioritize anything that didn't involve certain people and move down the list the items that would require working with the nay-sayers.  Although not always realistic, as we often have to work with certain people, I was pleasantly surprised how much I could pull away and allow others to work with these folks.  I chose to focus my work on other areas and working with other people who share the same vision and goals as I do and remain positive and with a "yes" mentality.

In the end, we all encounter jokesters who just aren't part of the team vision and who seem to bring people down.  I've watched colleagues recently be affected negatively by the same crew, and hard to watch; however, my encouragement has been to ignore them.  We MUST keep doing the good work and can't let a couple negative people bring us down.  No matter what, find a way to tune out the negative people.  Our schools need us, our staff need us, and our students and families need us.  Keep fighting, and don't quit, and make the positive win out each and every day!

Mr. President, Do It For The Kids!

Dear Mr. President, this is NOT a post about politics, bashing you in your position, nor a personal attack.  RATHER, this is a rallying cry for your help in being a role model for our kids! My three children understand the concept of the President of the United States of America.

They see your face everywhere.  They will grow up respecting your position of power; however, I don't know that I want them to grow up respecting your treatment of individuals, your lack of respectful discourse, and your rhetoric that seems angry and lashing out at people with name-calling.

We all can agree to disagree on a daily basis; however, it's how we disagree that is critical.  Demonstrating name-calling, bullying behavior, and simply speaking without listening aren't ways to debate and disagree.  I want my kids, and ALL kids to see in you a role model who leads with integrity, and talks to others in a way we want our kids to grow up talking to each other. YOU sir, are a role model and millions of eyes are on you.  It is NOT about what you say, as much as HOW you say it.  I implore you to consider each day HOW you are speaking to people as well as what you are saying.  Kids may not understand the politics and issues you discuss; however, they WILL see and hear the delivery method and messaging of how we treat each other from you.

I for one, cannot back nor respect a president who continues to model to our kids angry rhetoric, name-calling, and bullying behavior.  I can understand your disdain for the media, you are not the first president to feel that way.  I can handle the "fake news" stories and sometimes untruths you speak, as we as a society need to learn to distinguish fact from fiction.  I can attempt to shield my kids from the media; however, they should not have to be kept from seeing the leader of the country; I don't want them viewing you as a role model if you can't act respectful and civil towards other humans.

In closing, it is not about whether I'm a Republican or Democrat, whether I voted for/against you, or whether I agree with your policies.  Quite simply Mr. President, it's only about the way you talk to and at people that I care about related to being the role model our kids in this country need.

Fight for the Right Stuff!

On this past New Year's Eve afternoon, my parents were in a horrific car accident due to a truck running a red light.  My father had both lungs collapsed, ribs broken, pelvis fractured, lacerated spleen, etc.  He barely survived.  As the days went by, he worked to breath on his own, do his physical therapy, and fight to heal. He fought daily and gave 110%, fighting through the pain, and not giving up.  For 7 straight weeks he was in the hospital and rehabilitation facility.  Yesterday, he was released.  Seven weeks to the day of the accident.  As we walked out the doors of the rehabilitation center, our first stop was a restaurant for real food:).  

This was a celebration! He had won the fight and overcome numerous obstacles. Although not back to 100%, he was coming to home, sweet home.  

  As I reflected on his tenacity and fight, I realized he didn't take on negativity towards anyone, but    fought for himself to improve and get back his normal life and stayed focused on the right goals.

In the current climate we live in, it's so easy to fight for the wrong reasons.  It's so easy to blame, get angry, and get sucked into the negative vacuum. As educators, leaders, and role models for our kids, WHAT do we fight for?  Is it the right fight?  Do we give 110% to fight the fight, but it nots the right fight?  Do we fight respectfully, or do we fight negatively?  

I'm a proponent of being a disrupter, renegade, and innovator; but, we must do so for the right reasons, and in the right way.  I love that Bethany Hill says it best: "Fight for kids. It's about them, not the adults." Recently our new Secretary of Education was tweeted to follow positive Twitter accounts and hashtags such as #JoyfulLeaders.  The point was to focus on working with us, not against us.  KidsDeserveIt have the motto--fight for kids every day, THAT is a worthy fight!  Think about what you fight for, and what you should fight for, and get after it!~