3 Lessons My Kids Have Taught Me

I often reflect on the joys my 3 kids bring to my life. We take for granted all that kids can do for our souls, and I have found three lessons from my kids I need to embrace and live by:

1) Laugh often, and laugh hard: Listening to a child's laugh is contagious. Making them laugh so I can hear the true belly laugh is a daily event in our house. As adults, we need to find more times to laugh.   We need to create spaces for laughter breaks at work, and laugh as much as possible.

2) Move on from a bad experience or mood quickly: My youngest can put on a lower lip like none other. She can instantly start smiling and laughing 30 seconds later. My middle kid can be crying and upset because he messed up and got in trouble, but 5 minutes later, he's forgotten and moved on. My oldest is entering Jr. high this fall. She can be upset and go in her room, and a few minute later will come to find me and snuggle and be ready to move on. Too often as adults, we harbor hard feelings, hang on to negative thoughts, and can't "let go" of situations. We need to take the kid approach of "moving on" as life is too short!

3) Embrace trying something new: All three of my kids are adventurous and typically up for something new. They love exploring, riding rides, eating different kinds of food, and traveling. Watching them pick something up, play with it, ask about it, and test it is fun to watch. As adults, we need to have the curiosity and williness to try new things, explore, and learn something new. We need to have the kid approach of learning on a daily basis.

Although the three things above are simple, we as adults need the reminders to laugh, move on after a bad thought or experience, and to try new things! There is so much we can learn from kids. What will be your take-aways from your kids and/or the kids you teach?

Tune out the Negative People

Negative people and incidents ebb and flow in our lives over the course of time.  In the education world, negativity can kill a school culture, a teacher, and worst, a student.  Often a few vocal negative people can have way more power than they should.  The challenge we struggle with as humans is how to tune out the negative and not allow it to get us down.  We talk about grit and resilience, but not always the "how" to get rid of the negativity.

In the last few months I've struggled with a couple negative people getting me down, and struggled with them affecting me.  The constant road blocks thrown up, saying "no" to people just because, and simply not being committed to what is best for us all had worn me down.

As someone who is almost always positive and eager to take on any challenge, I felt defeated.  I was letting a couple jokesters get to me, and it was affecting who I was as a person.  The positive was I cared so for my work and the mission we are on, and wanted so bad to "fix" this situation.  The downside was, I didn't have the power in this situation to do anything to improve it.  I couldn't change the mentality and perspective of folks.  Some people just live in their little silo that isn't aligned with the rest of the team.

I hit the wall, and was ready to quit.  I even started looking around with the thoughts of a different job.  Finally, it hit me; I had two choices: 1) be a quitter and let them win, 2) find a way to ignore them and simply move on with what I know is my commitment to doing what I can to support constant improvement and moving the organization forward.

There were three steps I took to get over the hump.  Although they may not work for everyone, my encouragement is to reflect on what methods will work for you.  In the end, we HAVE to tune out the negative people.

1) I simply started ignoring and keeping my distance from them.  It's a choice to engage with negative people, it's a choice to let them get to us, and it's a choice whether we allow them to ruin it for the rest of us.  Although sometimes hard because you have to work with people, you don't have to go out of your way to hang out with them.  In time, I'm a believer humans figure out when their peers are clearly not fans of their attitude and behavior.

2) I made a conscious choice to hang out with those who keep me positive.  Utilizing my PLN and choosing to hang out with positive individuals who drown out the negative does amazing things for our mental well being.

3) I refocused my energies and work.  As an admin, we have many projects and tasks to complete.  I made a choice to prioritize anything that didn't involve certain people and move down the list the items that would require working with the nay-sayers.  Although not always realistic, as we often have to work with certain people, I was pleasantly surprised how much I could pull away and allow others to work with these folks.  I chose to focus my work on other areas and working with other people who share the same vision and goals as I do and remain positive and with a "yes" mentality.

In the end, we all encounter jokesters who just aren't part of the team vision and who seem to bring people down.  I've watched colleagues recently be affected negatively by the same crew, and hard to watch; however, my encouragement has been to ignore them.  We MUST keep doing the good work and can't let a couple negative people bring us down.  No matter what, find a way to tune out the negative people.  Our schools need us, our staff need us, and our students and families need us.  Keep fighting, and don't quit, and make the positive win out each and every day!

Mr. President, Do It For The Kids!

Dear Mr. President, this is NOT a post about politics, bashing you in your position, nor a personal attack.  RATHER, this is a rallying cry for your help in being a role model for our kids! My three children understand the concept of the President of the United States of America.

They see your face everywhere.  They will grow up respecting your position of power; however, I don't know that I want them to grow up respecting your treatment of individuals, your lack of respectful discourse, and your rhetoric that seems angry and lashing out at people with name-calling.

We all can agree to disagree on a daily basis; however, it's how we disagree that is critical.  Demonstrating name-calling, bullying behavior, and simply speaking without listening aren't ways to debate and disagree.  I want my kids, and ALL kids to see in you a role model who leads with integrity, and talks to others in a way we want our kids to grow up talking to each other. YOU sir, are a role model and millions of eyes are on you.  It is NOT about what you say, as much as HOW you say it.  I implore you to consider each day HOW you are speaking to people as well as what you are saying.  Kids may not understand the politics and issues you discuss; however, they WILL see and hear the delivery method and messaging of how we treat each other from you.

I for one, cannot back nor respect a president who continues to model to our kids angry rhetoric, name-calling, and bullying behavior.  I can understand your disdain for the media, you are not the first president to feel that way.  I can handle the "fake news" stories and sometimes untruths you speak, as we as a society need to learn to distinguish fact from fiction.  I can attempt to shield my kids from the media; however, they should not have to be kept from seeing the leader of the country; I don't want them viewing you as a role model if you can't act respectful and civil towards other humans.

In closing, it is not about whether I'm a Republican or Democrat, whether I voted for/against you, or whether I agree with your policies.  Quite simply Mr. President, it's only about the way you talk to and at people that I care about related to being the role model our kids in this country need.

Fight for the Right Stuff!

On this past New Year's Eve afternoon, my parents were in a horrific car accident due to a truck running a red light.  My father had both lungs collapsed, ribs broken, pelvis fractured, lacerated spleen, etc.  He barely survived.  As the days went by, he worked to breath on his own, do his physical therapy, and fight to heal. He fought daily and gave 110%, fighting through the pain, and not giving up.  For 7 straight weeks he was in the hospital and rehabilitation facility.  Yesterday, he was released.  Seven weeks to the day of the accident.  As we walked out the doors of the rehabilitation center, our first stop was a restaurant for real food:).  

This was a celebration! He had won the fight and overcome numerous obstacles. Although not back to 100%, he was coming to home, sweet home.  

  As I reflected on his tenacity and fight, I realized he didn't take on negativity towards anyone, but    fought for himself to improve and get back his normal life and stayed focused on the right goals.

In the current climate we live in, it's so easy to fight for the wrong reasons.  It's so easy to blame, get angry, and get sucked into the negative vacuum. As educators, leaders, and role models for our kids, WHAT do we fight for?  Is it the right fight?  Do we give 110% to fight the fight, but it nots the right fight?  Do we fight respectfully, or do we fight negatively?  

I'm a proponent of being a disrupter, renegade, and innovator; but, we must do so for the right reasons, and in the right way.  I love that Bethany Hill says it best: "Fight for kids. It's about them, not the adults." Recently our new Secretary of Education was tweeted to follow positive Twitter accounts and hashtags such as #JoyfulLeaders.  The point was to focus on working with us, not against us.  KidsDeserveIt have the motto--fight for kids every day, THAT is a worthy fight!  Think about what you fight for, and what you should fight for, and get after it!~

What Failing Out of High School Taught Me

When I was a senior in high school, I got "caught".  I had made some bad choices at the private boarding school I was attending, and they sent me home early for the winter break.  During the break, they called my dad and said they were deciding if I could return or was "kicked out".  My parents, friends, and people in "high places" wrote letters on my behalf.  The following week, word came: I was booted out.  I could not return to friends, school, nor the successes I had enjoyed in high school.

As I sat in my bedroom back home in Utah, and contemplated the fact I wouldn't be going back to my friends in California, and wouldn't graduate with them from high school, I felt like an epic failure.  I was alone, my parents weren't happy with me, and I had no clue what to do next.  My dad was a minister, and I was embarrassing him, and I knew it.  I wanted to leave and run away.  Life sucked.

I immediately started working, took the GED, and spent the next 7 months working hard and trying to rebuild my life and figure out how to bounce back from this failure.  I didn't have a high school diploma, didn't get to walk a stage for graduation, and worst, didn't get to hang with friends two states away as the senior year wound down.  I though, was determined to not be a loser and failure, and I was determined to recover.  I was determined to find my way back into good graces and show I could be someone.  I was going to go to college, and prove I could be a productive adult.

That summer, I had an epic adventure and wanted to prove I was responsible and could do something that many 18-19 year-old kids couldn't.  I bought a plane ticket to France, bought a 30 day Eurorail pass to travel by train throughout Europe, and spent the next few weeks traveling throughout Europe.  I stayed in youth hostels, made friends, and had the time of my life exploring Europe.  I returned home with a new perspective on life, and agreed with my parents to attend college in Washington, rather than California, which was NOT the school I wanted to go to.  I wanted to go to school in California with my friends from high school, but mom and dad knew better.  They said, "you have to get away from those friends and influences".  

What "failing" out of high school taught me, was three important lessons:

1) Mistakes aren't a life sentence.  Prior to my senior year, I was viewed by adults as respectful, responsible, a good student, and not the kid they would have expected to get in trouble.  When kicked out of school though, I was labeled a "bad" kid. My teachers were very surprised as I wasn't the typical kid to get in trouble.  My parents were embarrassed and I felt the church people stare through me wondering what had happened and what I would become. I was determined to prove people wrong. Almost every summer of college I worked at summer/youth camps, and loved it.  I gave up the dream to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. and became a teacher.  As I started my first teaching job, I gravitated towards the students who were on the fringe, weren't the "good kids", and appeared to be on the verge of messing up.  I was a successful teacher because I had learned a hard lesson myself.  I had experienced what it's like to feel like a failure, and understood you don't have to be perfect to be a good person and have a good heart.  I also learned that I COULD be someone productive even though I hadn't been at one point.

2) Life isn't fair, so get over it, move on, and don't give up. I was angry at first, as I didn't feel it was fair.  I didn't have a track record like others, and I didn't deserve the harsh punishment.  My choices were: 1) be angry and complain and sit in misery and self-pity, 2) change course and move on with my life.  I chose to move on.  Forget school for the time-being, and work hard, ski hard (I skied often that winter--one of my favorite sports), and save money to travel the world.  I made a conscious choice to not wallow, start fresh, and not give up!  

3) ALWAYS remember who you are.  I knew that I wanted to give back and be of service in life. From an early age, having grown up in a 3rd world country with poverty, I knew I wanted to give back to others.  Growing up playing the piano, I played at church often, filled in when no one was there to play for the little kids rooms, and cleaned up after the potlucks.  My heart was always about helping others.  No matter how I was judged, no matter I had failed in one part of my life, I knew I still wanted to help others.  I was close to being jaded, and could easily have gone there.  Though I felt failed by the system, and like I wasn't helped out in my time of greatest need, I never lost sight of who I was.  As a teacher and coach, I volunteered for everything.  I sponsored everything, went on all the trips, drove kids home, let them crash at my house when needed, and did whatever it took to support them.  I had bounced back from feeling like a failure, and I was determined to help anyone I could bounce back and not fail.

The questions we must ask ourselves as educators every day are simple: what do I do, and what can I do, to not allow my students to fail?  When they fail, how do I help them bounce back?

I was lucky: I was strong-willed, and I could bounce back.  Not all our students have that will and ability.  Take the challenge: find that student that you can help.  Learn your students stories, celebrate their successes, and help them recover from their failures!  Be a champion for every student as even the "good" ones can mess up, and need a cheerleader to help them recover and succeed.  

Be a "Spartan" Educator!

Be a "Spartan" Educator

This past weekend I ran the Spartan Race in San Francisco at ATT Park.  I ran with "Team Bubba" which consisted of 5 people pictured above.  I hadn't trained much compared to my teammates.  A couple of them are die-hard UFC gym rats, and the other two work-out regularly.  As a former PE teacher and avid exerciser, I felt like I was "good to go".

When I arrived, the stadium look great! I love ATT Park, and love going to Giant's games.  I saw runners carrying bags up in the top bleachers, ropes course stuff throughout the park including outside the park, and overall a whole lot of "fit" people.  I was pumped and feeling the adrenaline kick in, which is a feeling I love!

As the race got started, I felt great: first running down the stairs to the field level, then into the dugout, then into the home team's locker room (which was awesome) where we dropped and did 20 push-ups, with the added feature of lifting your hands off the ground between push-ups.  Then it was off to the stairs and to the top of the stadium.  This was the point where I felt the lack of cardio prep start kicking in; however, being a "tough guy" I kept full speed ahead.

Over the next 45 minutes or so, our team conquered 20 obstacles including 10 foot walls, ropes challenge course items, and various other challenges.  Throughout, we were running up and down stairs in the bleacher sections, up and down the ramps in the stadium.  I was dripping with sweat, tired, winded, and muscles were hurting.  One of my teammates was starting to lag, and we encouraged each other on.  We gave the girls a boost over the walls, and did "burpees" (dropping down and doing 30 push-ups, but between each one, you jump up with your hands up high) to help teammates out when needed.  As a team of 5, if someone was struggling, we could each do a few extra for them, to make sure we hit the intended number for our team at the various stations.

As we headed the last few feet towards the finish line, we all held hands as a team and made the last dash as a TEAM across the final line to have medals placed over our heads.  We had completed the challenge as a team: we encouraged each other, pushed each other, and physically helped each other from start to finish.  Minutes later as we sat in the stands eating bananas and drinking liquids to re-hydrate, we talked about the teamwork, perseverance, and fun we had as a group.  We were Spartans, we had conquered and hadn't quit.

Applying my experience doing this race to education, there were 3 lessons I was reminded of:

1) Never give up!  No matter how hard, how challenging, or tough.  As an educator, I fight for my students.  They ARE part of my team.  I don't quit doing what is best for them and continually challenge myself and challenge others to keep fighting for our kids.  My friend Adam Welcome is a great example of an educator who always keeps "pushing" for kids sake.  Adam recently co-founded #kidsdeserveit which is all about centering everything we do as educators for, and on kids. Try new things on regular basis with your students and model that risk-taking is not only ok, but encouraged!
2) Teamwork (collaboration) as educators is the ultimate way to succeed for our kids! Social media is a great way to collaborate when it can't be face-to-face.  Tools like Twitter, Voxer, and even simply text messaging and Face-Timing are so easy and quick to do, and SO powerful.  Karly Moura is a teacher who exemplifies working with teammates.  She creates hyperdocs she shares virtually, hosts Twitter chats, and in general, shares her work openly to anyone who will connect.  IF you haven't followed her or connected with her, do so!
3) Try Something New: Having done a half marathon, the Running with the Bulls, the Merrell Down and Dirty, and many other events that push your physical and mental limits, I've always had the mentality I'll try anything once, and see what sticks and what I like.  So too it is with education.  You HAVE to keep trying new things that engage our students, are relevant for them, and ultimately allow them to be challenged, fail, take risks, and try again.  This was my first Spartan Race, and I had to try it when friends said, "let's do it".  A teacher who continues to keep trying new things is Shauna Hawes who constantly is trying new things out.  Whether it is Linkbots, drones, Rasberry Pi's, or new forms of coding, Shauna is always trying new things, buying new things, and spreading her findings with colleagues 24/7 (literally).  When you have people like that you are working with, it motivates you to challenge others and yourself!

In the end, being a Spartan means being willing to fight to the death and never quit.  There were moments where I was ready to stop running and walk, I thought of skipping an obstacle, but refused to do so.  As an educator, I challenge each and every teacher, administrator, staff member, and parent to NEVER QUIT fighting and working for your kids to have the opportunities they deserve.  Be a Spartan!!

You Must Be A "YES" Educator

Years ago there was a Jim Carrey movie titled "Yes Man".  The premise was that for one year he had to say "yes" to everything.  Although somewhat a silly movie, I often reflect on the importance of us as educators needing to say "YES" more often.

When our students throw out an idea to their teachers, peers, parents: is the answer "yes" or too often "no"?  When a teacher comes to an administrator and throws out an idea: "yes" or "no"?  When a principal goes to the assistant superintendent or superintendent? You get the point...

Several months ago, I sat in a room full of educators, and listened to an amazing teacher named Shauna Hawes (@ShaunaHawes) talk about how her principal Dr. Ainsworth (@eanainsworth) was so good at providing "YES" as the answer to her ideas.  Shauna has started robotics (@ValleyViewRobos) at Valley View Middle School (@ValleyViewJags) and this summer ran the first Girls Robotics Camp (@VVMSGIRLCamp).  The girls who attended the camp are below:

                                                    

The take away for me was Shauna wouldn't have felt able to move forward with initiatives that benefited students if not for feeling a "YES" answer would come from her principal when she broached the ideas.  Too often, our first response is: "we can't afford that", "I don't think kids and parents will support that", "I'll get back to you"...  Be a "YES" educator for kids, teachers, and administrators--they deserve it, and the ideas you say "YES" to will be amazing, creative, and worth it!

I was blessed with years of administrators telling me "YES" to my ideas and brainstorms.  I often pitched them as "let me pilot", "I'll find the money", etc.  When I didn't get the "YES" answer, I often waited, and then tried again, slightly altering the idea.  Too often though, I've watched students be told "NO" and teachers told "NO", and even at times administrators denied.  Often, the ideas were creative, cutting edge, and ultimately later were adopted or given the green light.  The hardest part was no real rationale or reason why "NO" was the answer was provided.

The challenge for us all: Be a "YES" educator for kids, staff, and parents.  When you have to say "NO", be sure you explain why, and be sure to create an environment where people will ask again, and then try to say "YES" the next time.  The folks who say "YES" more often than "NO" are happier in life--give it a try!