What Failing Out of High School Taught Me

When I was a senior in high school, I got "caught".  I had made some bad choices at the private boarding school I was attending, and they sent me home early for the winter break.  During the break, they called my dad and said they were deciding if I could return or was "kicked out".  My parents, friends, and people in "high places" wrote letters on my behalf.  The following week, word came: I was booted out.  I could not return to friends, school, nor the successes I had enjoyed in high school.

As I sat in my bedroom back home in Utah, and contemplated the fact I wouldn't be going back to my friends in California, and wouldn't graduate with them from high school, I felt like an epic failure.  I was alone, my parents weren't happy with me, and I had no clue what to do next.  My dad was a minister, and I was embarrassing him, and I knew it.  I wanted to leave and run away.  Life sucked.

I immediately started working, took the GED, and spent the next 7 months working hard and trying to rebuild my life and figure out how to bounce back from this failure.  I didn't have a high school diploma, didn't get to walk a stage for graduation, and worst, didn't get to hang with friends two states away as the senior year wound down.  I though, was determined to not be a loser and failure, and I was determined to recover.  I was determined to find my way back into good graces and show I could be someone.  I was going to go to college, and prove I could be a productive adult.

That summer, I had an epic adventure and wanted to prove I was responsible and could do something that many 18-19 year-old kids couldn't.  I bought a plane ticket to France, bought a 30 day Eurorail pass to travel by train throughout Europe, and spent the next few weeks traveling throughout Europe.  I stayed in youth hostels, made friends, and had the time of my life exploring Europe.  I returned home with a new perspective on life, and agreed with my parents to attend college in Washington, rather than California, which was NOT the school I wanted to go to.  I wanted to go to school in California with my friends from high school, but mom and dad knew better.  They said, "you have to get away from those friends and influences".  

What "failing" out of high school taught me, was three important lessons:

1) Mistakes aren't a life sentence.  Prior to my senior year, I was viewed by adults as respectful, responsible, a good student, and not the kid they would have expected to get in trouble.  When kicked out of school though, I was labeled a "bad" kid. My teachers were very surprised as I wasn't the typical kid to get in trouble.  My parents were embarrassed and I felt the church people stare through me wondering what had happened and what I would become. I was determined to prove people wrong. Almost every summer of college I worked at summer/youth camps, and loved it.  I gave up the dream to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. and became a teacher.  As I started my first teaching job, I gravitated towards the students who were on the fringe, weren't the "good kids", and appeared to be on the verge of messing up.  I was a successful teacher because I had learned a hard lesson myself.  I had experienced what it's like to feel like a failure, and understood you don't have to be perfect to be a good person and have a good heart.  I also learned that I COULD be someone productive even though I hadn't been at one point.

2) Life isn't fair, so get over it, move on, and don't give up. I was angry at first, as I didn't feel it was fair.  I didn't have a track record like others, and I didn't deserve the harsh punishment.  My choices were: 1) be angry and complain and sit in misery and self-pity, 2) change course and move on with my life.  I chose to move on.  Forget school for the time-being, and work hard, ski hard (I skied often that winter--one of my favorite sports), and save money to travel the world.  I made a conscious choice to not wallow, start fresh, and not give up!  

3) ALWAYS remember who you are.  I knew that I wanted to give back and be of service in life. From an early age, having grown up in a 3rd world country with poverty, I knew I wanted to give back to others.  Growing up playing the piano, I played at church often, filled in when no one was there to play for the little kids rooms, and cleaned up after the potlucks.  My heart was always about helping others.  No matter how I was judged, no matter I had failed in one part of my life, I knew I still wanted to help others.  I was close to being jaded, and could easily have gone there.  Though I felt failed by the system, and like I wasn't helped out in my time of greatest need, I never lost sight of who I was.  As a teacher and coach, I volunteered for everything.  I sponsored everything, went on all the trips, drove kids home, let them crash at my house when needed, and did whatever it took to support them.  I had bounced back from feeling like a failure, and I was determined to help anyone I could bounce back and not fail.

The questions we must ask ourselves as educators every day are simple: what do I do, and what can I do, to not allow my students to fail?  When they fail, how do I help them bounce back?

I was lucky: I was strong-willed, and I could bounce back.  Not all our students have that will and ability.  Take the challenge: find that student that you can help.  Learn your students stories, celebrate their successes, and help them recover from their failures!  Be a champion for every student as even the "good" ones can mess up, and need a cheerleader to help them recover and succeed.  

Be a "Spartan" Educator!

Be a "Spartan" Educator

This past weekend I ran the Spartan Race in San Francisco at ATT Park.  I ran with "Team Bubba" which consisted of 5 people pictured above.  I hadn't trained much compared to my teammates.  A couple of them are die-hard UFC gym rats, and the other two work-out regularly.  As a former PE teacher and avid exerciser, I felt like I was "good to go".

When I arrived, the stadium look great! I love ATT Park, and love going to Giant's games.  I saw runners carrying bags up in the top bleachers, ropes course stuff throughout the park including outside the park, and overall a whole lot of "fit" people.  I was pumped and feeling the adrenaline kick in, which is a feeling I love!

As the race got started, I felt great: first running down the stairs to the field level, then into the dugout, then into the home team's locker room (which was awesome) where we dropped and did 20 push-ups, with the added feature of lifting your hands off the ground between push-ups.  Then it was off to the stairs and to the top of the stadium.  This was the point where I felt the lack of cardio prep start kicking in; however, being a "tough guy" I kept full speed ahead.

Over the next 45 minutes or so, our team conquered 20 obstacles including 10 foot walls, ropes challenge course items, and various other challenges.  Throughout, we were running up and down stairs in the bleacher sections, up and down the ramps in the stadium.  I was dripping with sweat, tired, winded, and muscles were hurting.  One of my teammates was starting to lag, and we encouraged each other on.  We gave the girls a boost over the walls, and did "burpees" (dropping down and doing 30 push-ups, but between each one, you jump up with your hands up high) to help teammates out when needed.  As a team of 5, if someone was struggling, we could each do a few extra for them, to make sure we hit the intended number for our team at the various stations.

As we headed the last few feet towards the finish line, we all held hands as a team and made the last dash as a TEAM across the final line to have medals placed over our heads.  We had completed the challenge as a team: we encouraged each other, pushed each other, and physically helped each other from start to finish.  Minutes later as we sat in the stands eating bananas and drinking liquids to re-hydrate, we talked about the teamwork, perseverance, and fun we had as a group.  We were Spartans, we had conquered and hadn't quit.

Applying my experience doing this race to education, there were 3 lessons I was reminded of:

1) Never give up!  No matter how hard, how challenging, or tough.  As an educator, I fight for my students.  They ARE part of my team.  I don't quit doing what is best for them and continually challenge myself and challenge others to keep fighting for our kids.  My friend Adam Welcome is a great example of an educator who always keeps "pushing" for kids sake.  Adam recently co-founded #kidsdeserveit which is all about centering everything we do as educators for, and on kids. Try new things on regular basis with your students and model that risk-taking is not only ok, but encouraged!
2) Teamwork (collaboration) as educators is the ultimate way to succeed for our kids! Social media is a great way to collaborate when it can't be face-to-face.  Tools like Twitter, Voxer, and even simply text messaging and Face-Timing are so easy and quick to do, and SO powerful.  Karly Moura is a teacher who exemplifies working with teammates.  She creates hyperdocs she shares virtually, hosts Twitter chats, and in general, shares her work openly to anyone who will connect.  IF you haven't followed her or connected with her, do so!
3) Try Something New: Having done a half marathon, the Running with the Bulls, the Merrell Down and Dirty, and many other events that push your physical and mental limits, I've always had the mentality I'll try anything once, and see what sticks and what I like.  So too it is with education.  You HAVE to keep trying new things that engage our students, are relevant for them, and ultimately allow them to be challenged, fail, take risks, and try again.  This was my first Spartan Race, and I had to try it when friends said, "let's do it".  A teacher who continues to keep trying new things is Shauna Hawes who constantly is trying new things out.  Whether it is Linkbots, drones, Rasberry Pi's, or new forms of coding, Shauna is always trying new things, buying new things, and spreading her findings with colleagues 24/7 (literally).  When you have people like that you are working with, it motivates you to challenge others and yourself!

In the end, being a Spartan means being willing to fight to the death and never quit.  There were moments where I was ready to stop running and walk, I thought of skipping an obstacle, but refused to do so.  As an educator, I challenge each and every teacher, administrator, staff member, and parent to NEVER QUIT fighting and working for your kids to have the opportunities they deserve.  Be a Spartan!!